Tuesday, March 8th, 2022, 13:16

Mood: Sore

Ok so finally I can reveal the super good news and the reason I have been so busy lately and will continue to be busy asf until, like, May basically. Pat and I literally bought a fucking house. And, like, a house that's already got its shit together that we can just move into and live in, not an ex-bando or a fixer-upper or anything. I'm hype. I didn't want to say anything on here until we had the keys in our hands and all the papers signed and everything because I was, like, I'm gonna look like a fucking idiot if something goes wrong and we don't end up buying it. Getting a mortgage is so much more work than just buying a house straight-up. Also just like having a house is a lot of work in general. But it's super exciting.

I have a really hard time being proud of myself just in general. Like if I do something well or succeed at something my first instinct is to default to, well, I had XYZ institutional privileges that allowed me to accomplish this or whatever. My motto in life is that it's an opportunity to work hard. It's crazy to me that there are people who have way more institutional privilege than I do who think that they raced to the finish line all by themselves, and just forget that they had people helping them out along the way. Part of me is even embarrassed to share the news about buying a pad because I know that it's a huge privilege and not everyone from circumstances similar to mine will be granted it. At the same time, Pat and I have worked so hard to get here from where we started off in life.

It just got to the point where it was super important to me that my daughter doesn't grow up in the hood. About two years ago, we had an incident where a car full of random men came up to Siren's stepsister and some other neighborhood children and were asking them to come be by them and get in the car. The kids and Siren's stepmom eventually scared them off but, like, that's the shit that we deal with in the Old West End. So I guess in that sense I am proud that Pat and I were able to study hard, work hard, get good jobs, and get this pad. We want to give Siren a good life. But, like I said, it's a privilege to be given the opportunity to work hard in the first place. It really pisses me off whenever people who start off on Park Place talk about how hard they worked to get to the Boardwalk. I just don't want to be doing that.

Anyway so yeah that's partly why I'm sore asf rn. I moved over all my clothes, Siren's clothes, and some other shit yesterday. And I worked out and got in 6,000 steps. So I'm taking an Active Recovery Day today just sitting on my ass and doing my hair while I work from home. I have a work meeting at like 5pm and I'm not even gonna bother washing my hair out lol I want to leave in the semipermanent dye all day. I'm just gonna put on a hat and like make excuses for why I look busted. I don't even care.