Friday, July 28th, 2023, 22:55

Mood: Tired

My body has just been acting lately like it's gotten the shit beat out of it. I haven't worked out since Sunday, which is a while for me, and I had a migraine all day yesterday so really all I did was sit around and sometimes crochet and watch The Osbournes. (An aside: I'm very grateful to TikTok right now for reminding me that show exists.) Today I had to catch up on hella work for my research job, which took me almost four hours. That plus my time just generally being idle and rejuvenating ate up my whole day. It's also been in the 90s here in Indiana this week, which is way too hot for us Midwesterners. I was supposed to take Siren to Faeries, Sprites, and Lights today, then follow that up with a dinner party at our friends Graham and Angie's house, but we didn't do any of that shit. Just too hot and too sore.

But tomorrow after work, we're going to see the Barbie movie with Chris and Cierra and their kid Violet. Just normal people who have friends things. There was this really long period of my life where I wasn't a normal person and I didn't really have normal people friends all the time. I was so heavily immersed in the independent music scene that I didn't really have friends; I had, like, fake friends or fans or whatever you could call them. I had other musicians we played with. I had to pretend I actually like Days n' Daze for years because I got pigeonholed into the folk punk scene. Do you die? And then of course, when we were blacklisted and nobody wanted to book us or have us play with them anymore, we stopped having those kinds of friends. I think things are a lot better now. Do I often think my life is worse off because I never accomplished my goal of being a famous songwriter? Yes and I probably will always feel like that. But to live a normal, humble existence is so much more honest and genuine.

So yeah, that's what I'm up to in Uncool Girl World. I found a new blogger in Cool Girl World. Her name is Diana and she goes by DianaVilleX online. Her vibe is so cool. It reminds me of Tamara from IPukeGlamour from back in the day. I'm always just so impressed by people who can find an aesthetic to stick to--and not, like, one they've preplucked from TikTok, I mean one they came up with all their own--and do it outstandingly well. I feel like I just cycle through a series of bad interpretations of aesthetics I copied from online. (Actually, Siren and I were talking about this the other day. She has the same problem. I hate that everything she's inherited from me, save her looks, generally makes her life harder.)

Anyway, I love the 2000s thing. A year ago I bought a Kodak Z700 like the one I had in 2006, and I never bothered to use it. I think I'll use it tomorrow and see what kind of results I get.